Poverty or Hammock Sex?

So I finally got the news I'd been waiting for from the genetic counselor, and it was totally lame and unsatisfying.  The micro-array sequencing came back "normal" and no mutation(s) were found on the EVC genes.  Hearing "normal" almost made me laugh since absolutely nothing about our baby or this experience falls into the normal category.  In a pathetic attempt to make me feel less discouraged, the counselor told me that only around 10% of EVC cases are spotted through this micro-array, and that we would have a much better shot if we sent the cell cultures to a different lab for a more specialized test.  This new test will take 40-60 days and 60% of cases can be confirmed with it.

Let me get this straight... I had been waiting on pins and needles for a craptastic 10% shot? Why wasn't this made clear to me?  It took every ounce of patience I had to wait out those 8-10 business days, during which I tore through 22 episodes of The Vampire Diaries to distract myself.  I am 29 years old, there is NO WAY I should be watching that show.  Now I am supposed to wait 60 days!?  There is not a show on television that is trashy enough to sustain me for that long!  I begged the genetics counselor to find out about expediting the new test assuming that we would just pay out of pocket for the extra cost, but then I found out that the test needs to be run three times.  One for me, one for my husband, and one on the little dude.  Expediting the tests would run about $2,400 and at the end of it we still might not have any answers.  $2,400?! I would rather take an all-inclusive tropical vacation where I can drink myself into a stupor and have hammock sex with my husband, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of that handsome dude, last night my husband and I sat through a 3-hour informational session on IVF.  The fertility center that we have been considering using moving forward requires attendance at one of these sessions before you can meet with one of their specialists.  They made us sign in at the beginning and then sign out at the end, so they knew we were there for the entire thing.  I would make a sick joke about how it was so intense that we had to promise them our first born child, but that just doesn't seem right.

Why did we go to this? It was not for the snacks, which were sub-par.  It's because if we want to use PGD as an option (which seems like a more distant possibility with every passing day, as locating the EVC mutation is IMPOSSIBLE!) we need to be cleared for IVF.  We cannot do one without the other.  So now, I know everything about subcutaneous injections, blastocysts, and Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. However, I still don't know anything about how I am supposed to have a healthy baby.

This morning I got a "high" reading on my ClearBlue Fertility monitor.  Welcome to fertile territory?  I should ovulate in 4-7 days, which means that if my hubby's sperm show up to do their job (they only work part time) I could get knocked up very soon.  Those 1 in 4 odds are staring me in the face right now, but I want to see those 2 pink lines SO badly that I think I might take them.